OrangeSwarm

IMDB link

Now here is a movie which you know will suck. How hard, only this review will tell. We all know ninjas are fucking cool. They got swords, blowpipes, and they kill shit. No questions asked, ninjas rock. Well anything that rocks deserves a movie right? (I mean G.I. Joe also got a movie..)

Well not if it is going to suck like this. Hollywood should be punished for ruining such a cool name for a movie. The plot is ridiculous. Some white kid gets abandoned by his mom or something and then his dad kills himself and something. I don’t known it’s not deserving of my memory or time in this review. Bottom line, he is in some Japanese dojo. He is a freaking p-magnet and tied with some other fag to become the next soko (leader of a dojo).

Shit goes down they fight and BWAM there is your antagonist. Whole bunch of useless stuff happens most of which has NOTHING to do with the story plot (I think anyway). So there is this chest with some 1337 loot which the soko gets btw, and so the bad guy wants it. Some more fighting which is not acted very badly but there is no bullet-time or stuff. It’s Rambo/A-team fakeness.

Bad guy kills some old dude finds that the chest is empty, goes beserk does some more shit I cant remember. Owyah, there are also some other bad guys which look extremely faggy. Something like a Russian spetznas mixed with Bruno. Anyway the good guy dude gets all pissed off and has the contents of the chest and then he kills the bad guy. I cant remember the end of the movie because I was chatting on MSN because I was bored.

Did I like the movie? No, not really
Would I download it? Meh, perhaps I would consider wasting 750mb of bandwidth for it…
Would you watch it again? 90% I wont ever watch it again

So yah,

That’s my review of the movie.

Trailer for those of you who dare to burn that bandwidth: